My heart seems so heavy. There is only one thing right now that can truly give me hope. It seems that every time I walk away, I come right back around to where I use to be.

Why is it that it's not steady, but it's the only thing that can hold me stable.

I have to think in a special way. I must control my thinking. I must think that this is a new opportunity. I must think that this is God's way for me to live, to discover, to grow, to learn, to experience, and to find the truth in life.

I'm going to the Navy soon. It's such a great opportunity for me right? But I am feeling uneasy and stressed. What will this bring to my life? How will this change my life?.. a 180 degree? Who will I become?

I'm scared that I won't be able to see those who I love. I'm scared that I won't be able to visit those whom I miss. What happens now? I realize that maybe this is the saddest secret to life. Love is in our hearts. Even if we don't get to visit, to see, or to touch, we'll love each other still. This thought gives me hope, and keeps me going. Hopefully within the long months to come, I don't forget it.